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my poem? comments? bad? good?
describes my life
help me out with edits
As time fears to pass by
my heart decays as it
accumulates chains of rust
vexatious broken bandages begin to dust
a mutilated key is all that’s left
hold on to your allurement and release
the torture of magnetic spikes
watch it sneak towards me
watch as it will continue to attack me
recklessly
armed with a disfigured shield attempting to protect
it bleeds but continues to fight on
the battleground flowered in a assortment of mix-colored tears
on both of our death beds
we only demand one thing
our exhausted super glue
for the dismembered key that you broke
and
let me continue my journey
with my glued key
grasped tightly in my hands
lead me to the narrow road ahead
let me tip-toe by all of the caves
that attempt to lure me in
17, still in highschool
I like it, really I do. It's a good poem; but of course, you realize it can be improved.
Some of the wording was vague, some lost my attention, and in a couple places, it had me downright confused. "Vexatious" startled me; I felt like I was being verbally molested. Same with "allurement". I find words like that—in this poem—to be out of place. Also, does the time fear passing by, or do you? Is a shield supposed to bleed? What is "mix-colored"—are the tears the color of cake mix? Look at how you say things and what words you choose and see if they make sense first of all, then if they're effective. It doesn't seem like you're going the absurd or surreal route.
You have some good images, "chains of rust", "mutilated key", "disfigured shield", "battleground flowered". Those were the ones that stood out; even "magnetic spikes" was refreshing. However, sometimes you lose my interest. Cut out lines you feel you don't need; often, shorter is better.
Happy revising. 
Florida Everglades Bass Fishing Guide John Pate Catching big bass Holiday Park 6-3-11